Name: Kurt Hummel
Age: Timelord
Occupation: Consulting Detective / Prince Arthur's man-servant / Barista at The Lima Bean, Westerville
Sexual Preference: Anything with a bow-tie, a time machine, designer shoes and a Dalton blazer.
Hobbies: Hardcore fangirling. Reading made up stories about made up people. Baking sparkly cupcakes. Singing about love in the pouring rain. Riding homosexual unicorns across rainbows. Updating my website: 'The Science Of Deduction'.
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Finn Hudson played football and drums, and couldn’t sing
Except with autotune so Schue forced him to join the Glee Club via blackmail.
Rachel Berry kinda sucked, but she could sing,
As could the other members but Glee Club still sucked and was clearly gonna fail.

If only Ryan Murphy could have known the popularity
That Glee was soon to have maybe he’da hired better writers.
He maybe would have not left all those plot holes you could see from space,
But we keep watching ‘cause we’re masochists- I mean, we’re fighters.

So go on, sing Top 40 Songs
Even if it feels wrong
'Cause who needs continuity?
I guess I can’t complain.
We got our Klaine and Finchel fuck
Though naturally it’s just our luck
That they’ll never talk of it again,
Dammit Ryan Murphy!

Glee is plotless, Glee is sickening
But dammit it’s so damn addicting!
Watching Glee is like BDSM only less interesting.
But I’ll watch it til the end, to the chagrin of my friends
I’m a Gleek, I guess, oh well,
Murphy, I’ll see you in hell!
Thanks to Glee I have no life, no sanity, no soul to sell!

Blaine Anderson came out of nowhere and stole the show because eyebrows
But suddenly he says that he is younger than Kurt Hummel.
Never mind the rewrites, what about ol’ Dave Karofsky, well he left
And nowadays butts are the only thing he pummels.

So go on, pretend we don’t spot
That there’s no logic in this plot ‘s greatest hits
Has nothing on this season.
It doesn’t take much effort just to check your facts before you write a script
Just look at tumblr there are millions of fans ready and waiting, slobbering on every episode, with screen caps and headcanons, willing to help you out, seriously, they know their shit, Ryan, just ask any of them, they’ve got an internet connection, a creepy attention to detail and lots of time.

You do the math!

So go on, sing Top 40 Songs
Even if it feels wrong
'Cause who needs continuity?
I guess I can’t complain.
Stockholm Syndrome feels great,

Just make Blaine say “Masturbate”
It’ll tide us over ‘til next season

Dammit Ryan Murphy!

Glee is magic, Glee is witchcraft

Glee’s a hug and then a bitchslap
Someone tell me what’s with Season 2

I thought that I’d gone crazy.
Don’t wanna watch it, but I gotta

Who the fuck is Sugar Motta?

Brittany’s IQ, Sam’s ED,
Artie’s robot legs, oh Glee

Remember that you need to have 12 people to compete at Regionals?

Imagine there’s no music, imagine there are no songs

To poorly cover up the fact that this show’s writing is atrocious.

Without the giddiness of hearing Adele sung by Miss Rivera,

Maybe people would finally realize the truth.

You may think I am being hypocritical, or over-harsh,

Like if you hate the show then why not quit and watch Community?

But what you need to understand is I am under Ryan’s hand

And that is why I’m here, I am a slave to Murphy’s law.

So play another Gaga song

And I will smile and wince along

You probably could still salvage it but I guess why bother?

People will watch, you’ll get paid

We’ll keep drinking the Kool-Aid

I guess it isn’t all that bad to watch the Glee train rolling.
I’ll keep bitching on my blog

Hope and pray for a Klaine snog

But I’ll be here every week

And I’ll be just as happy
To take Ryan Murphy’s abuse
Because fuck it, what’s the use? I’m a Gleek, yeah I love Glee,

At least this week.

So go on, sing Top 40 Songs
Even if it feels wrong
'Cause who needs continuity?
Or consistent plot,

Or character growth,

Or Tina’s lines,
Or Rachel’s dads,

Or Lauren Zises,

Or promise rings,

Or Quinn’s selective sanity,

Or Juilliard,

Or Carole Hudson,

Or McKinley’s lack of apathy,

Or Regionals,

Or Nationals,

Or where Lima is anyway,
Or Emma’s brother,
Or Beth’s adoption,
Or a crack house,
Or poor Sunshine,

Or an Irish guy who knows his lines,

Or “Booty Camp”,

Or Bully Whips,

Or Fondue for Two
Or Artie’s ‘tude,

Or Bieste’s first kiss,
Or elaborate sets,

Or Klainey Klainey KLAINEY KLAINE

Or when is Schuester gonna diiiieeeee?

Dammit Ryan Murphy!


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    Flawless fucking lyrics.
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